I love words

Words have the power to make us laugh, to make us cry, to invoke long-forgotten memories and to inspire.

Whether it is simple narrative, emotionally-charged poetry or raw quotes, words that are put together well paint a clear picture for the person lucky enough to read them.

That’s why, in their simplest form, words that we see put together succinctly on signs and billboards bring us so much joy.

Here are some fantastic little gems that you might see on signs in front of shops, on commercial trucks or, let’s face it, in an email joke doing the rounds.

Wherever you see them, take the time to stop for a few seconds, smile and think of the joy that a simple play on words can bring.

Before I do reveal these little treasures, however, I must confess that I owe the bulk of the groundwork to one of my mentors at Sea Eagles Toastmasters.

Graham Clark dug these little gems up for a Table Tonic (code for, joke of the night) at a recent Toastmasters meeting and I laughed heartily at many of them, so I felt it only fair to share them with you and to give Graham full credit.

- A sign on a septic truck tank read: yesterday’s meals on wheels.

- In the front yard of a funeral home. Drive carefully. We’ll wait.

- In a podiatrist’s office: time wounds all heels.

- In a gynaecologist’s office: Dr Jones at your cervix.

- At an optometrist’s office: If you don’t see what you are looking for, you’ve come to the right place.

- Outside a car exhaust store: No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

- A sign on the back of another septic tank truck: Caution – this truck is full of political promises.

This last one is not so much a play on words, but a message that I feel I may act on one day given the opportunity.

- In a non-smoking area: “If we see you smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

Ah, I love people who don’t themselves too seriously. Don’t you?

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