My baby niece's selfless story and her gifts to us all

Every July, I give my niece a small gift. It is not for her birthday, not an early Christmas present. It is for the anniversary of her death.

This month, it will be the fourth anniversary. This month, my niece would have been almost five years old.

This year, I am going to give her the gift of words, of remembrance, of thanks.

Her life was short: just eight months. But please don’t cry for her or for her family. Don’t give them your pity. It is such an empty, wasted emotion.

My niece’s story is hers alone and it is unique and special. I know I speak for everyone who knew her when I say we feel privileged and proud of her story and prouder still that we could share in her short life.

I am a writer, but I could never have written a story as beautiful and selfless as Zoe’s.

Yes it is a sad tale. Yes it has been, and always will be, tough for those who loved her. But there is no point energising regret.

She gave her life so that her family and their friends could stop occasionally and see through the haze of habit and really consider the important things in life.

She took her last breath so that her younger brother could take his first.

She gave her older sister the opportunity to learn many life skills and coping strategies that will keep her strong of character and spirit.

To her parents, she gave herself: their beautiful, irreplaceable second-born.

To everyone who knew her, she has given them their own gift, something that enriches their own lives.

To me, she gave an experience that, although so desperately sad at times and unwanted, makes my life special too and just a little less ordinary.

So that is why I am giving her the gift of these words: to honour her memory, to give thanks and to remind her that she will always, always be loved and remembered as the sweet angel who got to ride the rainbow to heaven too soon.

• Thank you to my generous brother-in-law and sister-in-law for allowing me to share yours and your beautiful baby girl's story.

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